Some of the qualities of leadership I most admire are revealed in the small knowing moments where to have noticed and to have cared come together and a small change is made. Opening a door for someone carrying bags, offering a seat to someone who needs it more, being silent so that someone can be heard – are all small acts of leadership, as well as of kindness.
By contrast, it is one of the tragedies of these more tabloid, populist times that so many political leaders in so many countries have chosen bombast, truth-shaping, epic indolence and institutional destruction as their leadership pathway. It feels like we are living through a new age of self-aggrandised, extrovert and entitled men.
This may be our fate for now, but it does not mean there isn’t a place for us to make our mark in our own way. I would therefore like to share a few thoughts in praise of the inner introverted leader that sits (sometimes a little uncomfortably) within all of us.
Make tea not slogans
One of the first times I had a one-to-one with my chief executive, as a newly minted in-house lawyer, was a late afternoon briefing on a case I was managing. He called me up to his office so that I could tell him what was happening. It was getting late, and his PA was packing up. The CEO asked me if I would like a cup of tea and I hesitated because I could see the PA was about to leave. However, before I could say anything, the CEO had got up and walked towards the kitchen to put the kettle on himself. I followed and we had a great conversation surrounded by a day’s worth of unwashed cups. This small act of ordinariness created a space for a more relaxed and open conversation. It humanised him and showed me that leadership is as much about putting others at their ease, as it is about grand designs and slogans.
I also liked very much that he didn’t inconvenience his PA just to make me a drink. It all happened without fuss and fanfare, quietly but very impactfully.
Becoming a great follower
Sometimes the missing element in our development as a leader is that we didn’t learn how to be a great follower first.
Last week someone called me to talk about how her manager was, frankly, not very good. The complaints were many and varied, but included delegating more work than seemed fair, cancelling one-to-one meetings at short notice and failing to put her forward for a promotion. All the thoughts she shared with me had some legitimate foundations, but what I could see as well, was how the negative narrative was feeding itself and every interaction was becoming a self-fulfilling slide into mutual mediocrity.
My challenge to her was “What would a great follower do now?” The conversation changed gear immediately and from a negative spiral of small moans, we created a list of meaningful, respectful, thoughtful shifts that might improve her situation, but might also help her boss to become a better manager too.
We should of course judge others slowly and with care; and we should judge ourselves kindly, but with a purpose to make things a little bit better. The quiet purposeful follower is likely to be much more of a leader than we sometimes imagine.
Practice strategic indecision
Procrastination is such a pejorative word, but often it is the greatest gift we can bestow on a problem. Obviously if the problem is someone marauding at you with a roughly hewn club and a blood curdling scream, procrastination might not be your best option. However, for the most part, this is not our typical office experience.
Most problems are not urgent, but on some days every incoming email can feel urgent. We are not algorithms; just because someone presses send, the answer cannot always be returned immediately. The world of email, WhatsApp, Slack etc, can sometimes make us feel that we are inadequately shielding from a storm of arrows on a medieval battlefield. The pressure to reply instantly, without careful thought and without choosing either tone or direction is in the end no more useful than a careering cart of chimps flinging poo at unsuspecting passers-by. The art is to honour the needs of our inner introvert by gently managing expectations because, when this is done well, the space created is where a quiet thought can mull and mature. I suspect it is also the best way to ensure we make the right decision.
As I have said many times, we are all leaders. The introvert within us may sometimes go unheard, and the introvert within us may sometimes seem to hold us back. However, as a counterpoint to the din and the hurtling pace of fast-forward change, the introvert within us might also be our best guide to being a leader who will pause to show thoughtfulness, reflection and care.
Take care. Paul xx
